Interests:soccer,football, basketball and my mad skills that go with it, not dying at lakes,hanging with mr.cooper i mean my friends, anything dealing with scholarly work and humanitarian work... just joshing you. Expertise:overstating the obvious, lack of comedic timing, akward moments, looking at the sun for an hour out of curiosity, thats why friends call me whiskers. Occupation:Student
Favorite activity of the weekend, however, was asking Scott for a drink and then complaining as he got it. It actually was more of a team effort.
Instead of swimming and drinking beers this weekend, I got manual labor. I guess the Santa of the 4th of July thought I was naughty.
There is nothing worse than waking up to three dogs jumping on to a full size bed in a hot upstairs bedroom in the middle of summer, also I know there were more adjectives in that sentence than were necessary.
As I was driving up towards Stillwater I saw a cow taking a deuce on a steak restaurant, I do not know, I just thought it was pithier than the Chic-fil-a commercials.
My Snapple peach tea cap reads this: "About half of all Americans are on a diet at any given day". I don't know I thought it was funny, probably tough to check the factuality to it though.
Movies on TV should be aired the way they are filmed. Period. I am sorry, but I am tired of watching Kill Bill and every time the drop the f bomb they say, a clear dubbed “forget you” or deleting essential parts of the movie because they are either violent or graphic. If you have a problem showing these scenes or lines, do not air the movie.
How come late night commercials are for degenerates and sociopaths? I saw two commercials back to back: the first was a Girls Gone Wild commercial (I know. I did not know that they still had them too.) And a tag line in the video was “Who knows one of the girls can be your best friend’s sister.” Ummm what? Why that would be something that compels you to buy this video and how pissed would your best fiend be once he found out that you bought a video of his/her naked sister? The second was even better it was a video instructions for a fight training video. Tag Line in this “It just is good to know, if there is a guy bigger than me, I can think I can make him tap out” or another “sometimes you don’t pick the fight, the fight picks you.” I was pretty sure this was for all the tools out there who want to start bar fights, great to know that they know have a video on how to correctly choke people.
Mail Time!
I loved the last installment of this so much we brought it back for a 2nd go around. Let’s see whom we got…. (Fake fishing around papers for the piece of paper). Okay this looks like a good one.
Hey, I was wondering why I do not see you anymore. You do not invite me over for the weekends as you used to. Is it me, did I do something wrong? Didn’t we have good times?
Yours always,
Lost Lake, Las Vegas, NV
Ooo… this is awkward… Yeah I have been meaning to call you… We need to talk. Look I think we just grew apart. I know its tough, but we did have great times. You remember the time we were just getting out high school and we had that huge party. We could barely afford the pizza we had that night but we decided that we just needed you there at the party. However, I think that as I grew up that I started to find others, and I need more than just to be hammered after a pack. I needed depth and a future. Look I do not want to go into too many details but some are new (Heineken, Dos Equis), some may be just maybe just a fad (bud light with lime), but I also still have my college sweet hearts with me (Bud light, Red stripe). So I will be okay, and so will you. You will have those underage kids. They are fun, right? Also campers, and those people who want to get drunk because you are 6 pt. and claim that is better than taste. If you have troubles lean on your friends (Pabst, High life) they have gone through the same thing, and they can help you. Moreover, avoid some people who we have never been friends (pig’s eye, pabst). I think you will rebound quickly, and remember the good times and memories, I know I will.
Is Madden the game ever going to be the same, will the still name it after him even after he is dead, I’m giving him probably a couple of years and gone? Few games are named after a polarizing figure Tiger Woods, Madden, and Sean White for some reason. I cannot tell you how excited I am when the finally switch madden off the cover and go with the new man Chris Collinsworth. Yes, inside information from me based on absolutely nothing, other than fact that he commentates the games in Madden now. However, that doesn’t tell you why I’m excited, it’s because when Droopy, himself, starts commentating, people will be so fed up that everyone will start playing Fifa a dream come true for me.
Dragon Ball: Evolution came out. A few quick thoughts 1) shouldn’t there be a previous movie before you add a side name to it? Like Underworld had Underworld before it came out with Underworld: Evolution. And 2) it came out? I have not seen one preview for this movie and I had to have someone who never follows it, Kurtis, tell me that it is out. That lets me know that an abundant amount of resources went into developing and marketing this movie. I do know that I have to keep the people who also follow Dragon Ball anonymous, because we will be called nerds or worse immediately upon using the word Dragon Ball; Make sure to use the street lingo DB, which is not DBZ or DB:GT, and yes I realize that I am a complete nerd for saying that. However, I still want to see the movie regardless of how bad it is. Moreover, this may be the first time ever that an adult has to have a 12-year-old go buy him a ticket to a movie, or I will probably need a 12-year-old to watch the movie so I have an excuse.
On the flipside, the movie Crank High Voltage had a prequel, Crank and it was absolutely the worst movie in the world, I could take an entire blog about how terrible that movie was. Nevertheless, which does Rottentomatos score higher? Crank 65% Dragon Ball 14%
I was looking at my last standings for the Champions League and to toot my own horn, I have the final 4 teams ranked in my top 5 with Atlético Madrid slipping in. two things about that 1) Madrid was kicking ass at the time. 2) Off the subject, but toot my horn (or your horn, I've heard it both ways) sounds incredibly dirty can we get someone to get to the bottom of this.
A guy in my class had his BARE FEET on the back of my chair and off to the side. Bare feet by themselves are gross enough but then the girl next to him started talking about it looks like he had a wart on his foot, and he counters with “yeah I don’t know what it is, the red rash wont go away though”!!! What! I really wanted to turn around, whip my penis out, put it on his book bag, and start talking to the people next to me about how I had an unidentified rash that I couldn’t rid of. Turn about is fair play, right?
Just a random observation: why is it sometimes when you have to select where you live, and the United States is not the first thing to be selected? I get that most of it has to deal with rest of the world thinks that we have an ego problem, but where do most of your sales come from. Blackberry does this, and no coincidence they are out of Canada.
Mailbag Time
Every occasionally I like to answer a random readers email. Here’s today email lets hope it’s a good one.
Hey Surferdude0313, I really love your stuff. I have a problem, however. I have been struggling with the idea of wearing v-neck men’s t-shirts around. I mean I love how they feel on my body and I have ton of them, but every time I see someone with them on all I can think is that it’s a girls shirt, and guy shouldn’t wear them regardless of how much I like the make out breast stand out… So what should I do? Get rid of the shirts? Wear them? I’m so confused, please help.
-Scott Wynn’del L. (Frostbite Falls, MN)*
Slow down and take it easy, I am here to help. It is a great question; many men are faced with this same question. I will say that recently I went to Pac-Sun and saw that they had a sale on these afore mentioned shirts. I went ahead a bought two because I am a sucker for a sale and as I tried it on at home, as men are supposed to do (you can return it at a later time there is no need to take 45 mins in one store) and realized that v-neck shirts just aren’t for me. I saw a guy on campus today wearing one and said to myself “Self he shouldn’t wear one either”. Therefore, I guess it depends a case-by-case basis and your self-confidence but so far its 0-2 in my book. Keep the questions coming I will try answering them when I can get around to it.
*The email is not real nor is the person writing it, well they could be, but I am unaware if such a beast truly exist. I had an elaborate fish stick shtick, but Kurtis screwed that one up by promptly reporting the joke on his xanga blog when it first came out. As for Scott that is for the “punch you in the throat thing”.
The Search for who is texting me is a bit bleak I’ve started a run down much like this so far I’ve eliminated Scott, due to the fact he isn’t crass enough, although mean enough to threaten to punch someone in the throat, and me so I guess we could team up like the Coon, and Professor Chaos, dibbs on Professor Chaos. Anyway, the magic starts at 5:59 and goes to about 6:35,
Lately, I have not been able to watch too much TV with work, and 19 hours of school sapping my life straight out of me. This, for now, has been beneficial since most shows are on hiatus; however, I have yet to watch any Scrubs and anyone who wants to tell me how it is going will have their eyebrows shaved, no one is excluded from this. Chuck and Always Sunny are now added to my shows that I cannot miss anymore. Nevertheless, over the holidays I caught marathons of shows that just intrigued me so much that with this hiatus I have added them to an already full TV schedule, so I hope you are proud USA network who just had another House marathon while I could have been reading my Physiology book. Anyways since I have had, my rankings for a while hear are the rankings for the new shows that I have picked up. Rankings go as follows: Rank, Show, Wikipedia’s synopsis of the show, my comparisons, and a episode that I would recommend to you that would be enjoyable.
House-An antisocial maverick doctor who specializes in diagnostic medicine does whatever it takes to solve puzzling cases that come his way using his crack team of doctors and his wits. A modern Sherlock Holmes, the character is actually based off him, and as I learned from my Dad, who read all the books, the ending of each episode is much alike. “House’s Head” and “Wilson’s Heart” (Note out of all of these I would recommend these two the most, as they are done the best)
Pysch-a young crime consultant for the Santa Barbara, California Police Department whose "heightened observational skills” and impressive detective instincts allow him to convince people that he is psychic. This is more less crude, but still funny Always Sunny in Philadelphia, "Lassie Did a Bad, Bad Thing" or “Bounty Hunters!”
How I Met Your Mother- In the year 2030, Ted Mosby (voiced by Bob Saget) gathers his daughter and son to tell them the story of how he met their mother (even if they don't look too eager to hear it). Its pretty much Scrubs with less daydream sequences, but still hilarious. Slapsgiving
Flight of the Concords- the adventures of the Flight of the Conchords, a folk duo from New Zealand, as its members seek fame and success in New York City. The show portrays a fictionalized version of the real-life duo, Jemaine Clement and Bret McKenzie, who play themselves. This show is semi unique in that I could not really think of a similar show, but it is very random and a very dry humor so if you like that you’ll love this. “Mugged”
The Hills- the hills documents the lives of Lauren Conrad and her friends in Los Angeles after Conrad's move from Laguna Beach California. Sadly, I really have no idea what is going on I have watched 3 episodes: But Scott’s girlfriend Britnee watches it and because she is nice enough to let me come over to watch Heroes with other humans, and because I typically don’t have anything else to do, I watched this and have actually found it to be interesting. This is Exactly like Laguna Beach. If you watch any episode watch one with Audrina, she is absolutely as dumb as a box rocks, if the rocks don’t fairly beat her out, but she is beautiful so I guess somewhere it evens out. “It's About Trust”
Now on the flip side there are some shows that have lost my interest for one reason or another and have fallen of my TV schedule, which ironically enough has been replaced with studying.
The Office- I had a test or I had something every Thursday so I haven’t been able to keep up with it. The last episode I probably watched was when Greg and Scott (I assume that link goes to Scott if not it is a funny blog nonetheless) lived here, also I heard some bad things about the writing form co-workers so I’m waiting to here feedback from other people as well.
Gossip Girl- yes, I have taken plenty of opposition for watching it but it was not as bad as everyone made it out to be. I know putting this on here is pretty much signing my own death warrant, but I enjoyed the show. However, it comes on the same time as Chuck and given the choice between the two, without a DVR, I choose Chuck. So manliness resume, or at least a little.
Animated Shows- this includes, but is not limited to, South Park, Family Guy, and Cartoon Network in general. I do not really have a reason for this one other than I just have not been in the mood to watch them.
Well to be more specific my least favorite things. McAlister's has been playing Christmas music twenty-four seven, which has been irritating. The song that has been stuck in my head unfortunately is "these are a few of my favorite things" and the fact that they are playing Christmas music that much is as I said irritating but some things go beyond irritating and transcend to things that I just don’t like. Here are three:
1.The Carmike. If it wasn’t bad enough already with not taking credit cards, or giving student discounts on days when students go to the movies, it finally sent me over the edge. Kurtis, Becca, and I went to see the movie Bolt at 3:30, but when we got there ten minutes early, we only saw that no one was there, except three people who wanted to see a movie. I hate that place so much.
2. This one took some long searching the internet but here it is. Let me first state that I know that this is a nonsensical thing to dislike but I do. I cannot help it. And I was reading this Sports Guy article (it is one of the funniest things I have read) and he has this part about grudges:
“Irrational Grudges (+4.5) over JULIUS JONES When Matt Berry mentioned my "Fantasy Kryptonite" concept in his Week 5 column, I realized my Kryptonite is unquestionably Brandon Lloyd. He just keeps luring me back in. I think he could convince me to strip naked and let him take photos of me as I cried like Irene Cara in "Fame." I would do it for him. Brandon, you're my man. Anyway, I have a flip side to that one, the "Fantasy Grudge" guy, aka the guy you inexplicably dislike and continue to dismiss even when he's doing well. For me, it's Julius Jones. I found out two years ago that he smokes cigarettes and I just can't think rationally about him after that. He could rush for 200 yards a game and be sitting there on the waiver wire and I wouldn't go near him because I fear he'd pulled a Ricardo Mayorga on me. He might have quit smoking; I don't care. He's out.”
With that said, my irrational grudge is people who mispronounce names. And I know it is just me and I cannot tell you to say their names, but yes I can. Therefore, people in Kansas who pronounce Arkansas City, Ar-Kansas City, are stupid. And the worst culprit is this man, Stephen Curry. Snip-it from ESPN:
“Stephen Curry, Davidson, Jr.
The nation's returning leading scorer has, in two short years, taken down college basketball's giants with his killer jump shot and ensured that nobody will ever mispronounce his name again (remember, it's STEFF-in).”
It may be just me, because my name has been mispronounced so much that now some who pronounces their name like mine, especially when 1, it is spelled like Steven, and 2, his real name is Wardell Stephen Curry II, which, to me, makes it worse because I had to live with people mispronouncing my name and he chose to. Thanks Wardell.
3. These calls, sorry you already know who you are. Good news, this is a better quality version.
So this weeks heroes was good. There was a lot to like and get excited about for the next couple of weeks. Here were just a few things that i noticed.
Is this they way that Syler is going to take peoples powers, talk them to death? However im glad that he likes Elle because I like her as well. For the most part Ali Larter never plays a likeable charcter no matter what her alter ego is. For me nothing really has changed with Hiro acting as a 10 year old. I loved how in the end each person went to their respective evil, good corner so that we could see the respective sides.
I wondered after watching Parkman and The fast girl, im still trying to remember their names, actually end up having feelings for each other, why Angela looks over at Mr. Peteralli and says "We where in love like that one time. Let me go." and he did it. Now I dont really like him but why didn't he say "Ummm you remember that time you tried to poison me, yeah thats why Im not going to let you go."
I imagined the scene where Claire and Peter going differently; As Peter and Claire are being interrupted by the fear guy and the firestarter, she tells Peter to go hide she has a plan. When peter leaves the guys break in. Claire: I'll never tell you where he is Fear Dude: What? you didn't even let us tell you why we're here. Firestarter: Yeah, its pretty much common courtesy... Claire: I was Defensive MVP FD: What? That doesn't really make sense. Maybe this is the wrong place. FS: Yeah lets just go she is weirding me out. Claire runs jumps through the window and plummets the twelve stories, Peter is slowly getting down the first latter on the fire escape right below his apartment.
FD: What the hell is wrong with that girl. FS: Hey look over there. Its Peter. FD: Wheww!! Its a good thing that girl jumped out the window, she led us right to him. Claire slowly gets up Peter: That was your plan!? Perdiction For next week: with the heros losing their powers the show is no longer going to be interesting. Without their powers I see it just turning into a new Leguna Beach. Que up the Hillary Duff Music I'm out!
